He had one of those small greek statue penises
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
