This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
