Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
