He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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