I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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