You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
