You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
