Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
