Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize