Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
