This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
