this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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