hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
