after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I will be naked everywhere
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
