I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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