I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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