Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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