My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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