that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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