Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
