loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize