so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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