I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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