So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
