I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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