so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
