Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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