Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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