wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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