dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Randomize