And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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