We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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