I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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