I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
