question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
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