so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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