i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
