Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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