i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I can feel your judgement through the phone
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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