playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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