lets start a swedish sibling band together
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
