you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize