Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Randomize
