i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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