Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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