so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
