Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
