well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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