Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
my liver is dry heaving
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
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