i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
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