drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
