Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
