So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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