what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Randomize
