420 ftw
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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