I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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