I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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