the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
