i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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