Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
