I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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