Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
